It’s the New Year’s resolution.
Though maligned by some, I embrace the midnight oath as a way of saying:
“Hey, this year, I’ve got a shot at being a better person.”
Though maligned by some, I embrace the midnight oath as a way of saying:
“Hey, this year, I’ve got a shot at being a better person.”
Some of us should take that shot a little more seriously, particularly when it comes to social networking. Mounting evidence suggests that people are turning into Twitter, Facebook and MySpace megalomaniacs.
So if any of this advice applies to your online activities, don’t feel even a little bit bad about adopting one of these resolutions as your own. Heck, you can say it was your own idea to stop:
POSTING BUTT-FIRST PROFILE PHOTOS
Unless you were born with your rump in the front, there is no reason your derriere should be displayed in your Facebook photo. Even if you’re more blessed than Nicki Minaj, Kim Kardashian and Trina combined, why not save that pose for your big break in Playboy or King magazine? Oh, you didn’t get such a break? Well OK then, moving on:
POSTING SHIRTLESS PROFILE PHOTOS
Fellas, the only way to justify your too-sexy-for-my-shirt photo gallery is if it is from Halloween night and you were Bruce Lee, the Incredible Hulk or Black Dynamite. Otherwise, I should not see bare pecs, abs and biceps in your profile photo. Firstly, all the world is not match.com, and secondly, some of you might want to “like” a membership to Bally Total Fitness before you sell the world tickets to your gun show.
COMPLIMENTING YOURSELF
It’s great that your supportive friends favorite and/or “like” your statements about how gorgeous/handsome/intelligent/sought-after/wealthy you are. But don’t let a handful of random affirmations fool you into thinking that being arrogant online is in any way acceptable. If you truly possess any of the above attributes, you shouldn’t need to announce it.
ATTACKING ADVERSARIES
Have you heard of this device called a phone? You can use it to contact people and tell them how you feel. In the ancient days, you could even (gasp) walk up to people and speak directly to them. Remember both options before you post about punching, wrestling, slapping or otherwise attacking fellow social media patrons. I’d hate to see you in Cook County Jail on the strength of a status message.
So if any of this advice applies to your online activities, don’t feel even a little bit bad about adopting one of these resolutions as your own. Heck, you can say it was your own idea to stop:
POSTING BUTT-FIRST PROFILE PHOTOS
Unless you were born with your rump in the front, there is no reason your derriere should be displayed in your Facebook photo. Even if you’re more blessed than Nicki Minaj, Kim Kardashian and Trina combined, why not save that pose for your big break in Playboy or King magazine? Oh, you didn’t get such a break? Well OK then, moving on:
POSTING SHIRTLESS PROFILE PHOTOS
Fellas, the only way to justify your too-sexy-for-my-shirt photo gallery is if it is from Halloween night and you were Bruce Lee, the Incredible Hulk or Black Dynamite. Otherwise, I should not see bare pecs, abs and biceps in your profile photo. Firstly, all the world is not match.com, and secondly, some of you might want to “like” a membership to Bally Total Fitness before you sell the world tickets to your gun show.
COMPLIMENTING YOURSELF
It’s great that your supportive friends favorite and/or “like” your statements about how gorgeous/handsome/intelligent/sought-after/wealthy you are. But don’t let a handful of random affirmations fool you into thinking that being arrogant online is in any way acceptable. If you truly possess any of the above attributes, you shouldn’t need to announce it.
ATTACKING ADVERSARIES
Have you heard of this device called a phone? You can use it to contact people and tell them how you feel. In the ancient days, you could even (gasp) walk up to people and speak directly to them. Remember both options before you post about punching, wrestling, slapping or otherwise attacking fellow social media patrons. I’d hate to see you in Cook County Jail on the strength of a status message.
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